Tag Archives: Tampa Bay

A Festival Outing with my Little Lord

Some people like to go to the State Fair. Some people (me) don’t.

But I LOVE the Renaissance Festival.

Sure, they’re both dirty and stinky and you have to use a Port-o-Let…

Maybe it’s the kilts and feathers, but I just feel like the festival is a bit more refined.

Here’s a simple test to determine if you’re a fair person, or a festival person.

  1. Do you prefer to see humongous breasts under an airbrushed T-shirt, or sitting atop a corset?
  2. How about man parts? In wranglers or tights?
  3. Do you prefer a southern drawl or British accent?
  4. Do you have a hankering for elephant ears or turkey legs?
  5. Are you more inclined to wave a confederate flag or a heraldic banner?
  6. Concealed weapons, or sheathed swords?

Inadequate dental hygiene is to be expected at either venue, but it freaks me out less at the festival.

I find it adds to the authenticity of the Dark Ages.

Colt and his friend Cam had a great time shooting bows and arrows, throwing darts, and bowling.

The dads participated in axe and knife throwing and other manly activities.

My husband was never so proud of his beard.

A word of warning, the workers at the festival take their jobs VERY seriously.

My mother complimented one of them on his “costume” and he firmly corrected her.

“This is not a ball, madam. There are no costumes….this is a uniform!”

(Dude, have some absinthe and relax.)

She also mistook a catholic cardinal for a civilian in a white bathrobe. Big mistake.

Anyway, if you live in the Tampa area, the festival will be around for a few more weeks, so go check it out!

Get there early in the day (before the characters have had too much grog and rum.)

If you have a fear of Zika and E.Coli, bring bug repellant and hand sanitizer.

And cash – everything costs extra and tips are expected.

Have a great time with your little lords and ladies!

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