SMH…and Feeling Old

teenager feet-349687_1920Husband: What does “SMH” mean?

Me: I don’t know.

Husband: Well, people keep saying it on Facebook. We should figure out what it means.

Me: I’m sure it means something gross… like “Suck My Hoo-Ha.”

After consulting a friend (and mother of two teenagers) I was relieved to find out “SMH” actually means “Shakin’ My Head.”

Maybe kids these days aren’t as dirty as I thought.

Recently a coworker’s daughter asked if I knew of any cool places for 18-21 year-olds to hang out.

Except she didn’t say, “Do you know of any cool places for 18-21-year-olds to hang out?”

She looked at me and said….

“We want to get turnt up tonight. Where can we go?”

Translation: “We want to get loose. Wild and excited.” (Could also mean ‘we want to get wasted, high, or engage in sexual activity.) But we won’t tell her mom that.

Frankly, I was flattered she even asked.

I started to answer, but then realized I had nothing to say.

Because I haven’t the SLIGHTEST idea where one would go to get “turnt up” these days.

If you want to know where all the coolest toddlers are hanging out…where the juice flows like wine…where everyone’s passed out by 2 p.m…

Call me.

I’ve always thought it was weird that neither of my parents had an appreciation for 80’s music. They were in their thirties in the 1980s – they should have been at the peak of coolness.

But my mom can’t name ONE SONG by Queen, or Duran Duran, or Journey. Why? Because she had a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old at home.

If it wasn’t on Raffi’s Greatest Hits album, she wasn’t into it.

And now I totally understand.

But I’m trying to stay cool. Like I really like that song by Lil Jon…”Turn Down the What.”

Oh wait….

It’s “Turn Down For What.”

Translation: “Rhetorical question used by teenagers. “turn up” is the act of getting drunk and high and being reckless so “turn down” would mean sobering up. Turn down for what is really saying i am Fu*&ed up and will continue to be all night, no matter what.

On second thought, maybe I’ll switch back to the Frozen sound track.

And just “Let It Go.”

THAT song doesn’t have any secret meanings, does it?

Surely, Elsa’s not “letting go” of her virginity or anything crazy…

O.L.A.F. isn’t an acronym for Open-wide Lusting And Freaky?


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8 thoughts on “SMH…and Feeling Old

  1. Carrie says:

    Soooooooo glad to have you and this awesome blog back. A coworker texted me SMH and I had to look it up.

  2. Julie thanks for the clarification… I was recently at a bachelorette party in Vegas where a bunch of cooler, younger, unmarried, childless attendees kept referring to being “Turnt up” and I had too much pride to ask what the heck they were talking about. WTH.

  3. JackieDuley says:

    Omg….(oh my god) I’m so glad I started a subscription to your blog. I love it, too funny.

  4. Adrian Green says:

    Suck My Hoo-Ha and Open-wide Lusting and Freaky? That’s just sublime. I told you I thought this would be right up my alley. Love the perspective and the sarcastic banter. This is great. I’m looking forward to not knowing what the heck kids are talking about. Kind of there already a little actually.

  5. Kelly says:

    So I have to laugh because I can totally empathize. I work with teenagers all day which is the only reason I know half the slang I do. Still trying to wrap my head around “on fleek”. I dont get that one.

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