Dear Mom Who Brought Your 2-Year-Old to the Nail Salon,
You owe me $40.
I saved up for two weeks to get the “deluxe” pedicure.
You know…the one with the hot stones, and wax, and oil and NO FUSSY TODDLERS?
I was just settling in to my US Weekly when you walked in – 20 minutes before closing time.
Requesting a pedicure for you….and your toddler.
Insisting that your daughter pick her own color and get to hold the bottle.
Directing the employees to massage her infantile feet and paint her fingernails to match her toes.
Shame on you.
It took three of those small asian ladies to hold her down.
And you – yelling at her to BE STILL every five seconds – only made it worse.
How am I supposed to recharge my zen with your offspring in my garden?
I was horrified when she started splashing in the pedicure tub.
But I actually gagged when she bent down to blow bubbles in the water.
I left the spa in worse mental shape than when I arrived.
I had to eat carbohydrates because of you. Something I really did not want to have to do.
And I don’t mean to harp, but I planned this night.
I sent my own precious child off with my husband for a boys night at the baseball field.
So that I might melt into a massage chair – with only the sound of the trickling water feature behind me.
Instead, the squeals and splashes of your – (what did you keep calling her?… “Angel” …Yeah well, my grandmother had a dog named “Angel,” and she was a real…)
In theory, SURE, giving your child a pedicure could be an intimate bonding experience.
I actually give Colt pedicures all the time.
I soak his feet in his Spiderman bubble bath, massage them, lotion up his legs, and clip his nails.
Sometimes I even paint them with clear polish. (There’s nothing wrong with a well-groomed man!)
You should take my advice sister and do this shit at home next time.
Stop ruining other mothers’ nights out! And their diets! And their sanity!
If nothing else, just keep her out of the waxing room, capish?!!!