The Tugger

Occasionally Todd and I will watch something weird on Netflix.

I especially like to watch shows documenting mental illness, obsessions, addictions, oh and any of those bizarre sex shows…

Last weekend, Todd and I watched like 4 straight hours of TLC’s Strange Sex.

Each episode more horrifying than the last.

One about a middle-aged couple using common kitchen utensils to beat, spank and prod each other – spatulas, wooden spoons, meat tenderizers. I’ve always said I wanted a man who was good in the kitchen. But I didn’t mean it…like that.

Another one about some British guy with more than 400 life-size sex dolls. Ga-Ross.

The most disturbing was an episode about a man who was speaking out against male genitalia mutilation in the US. Otherwise known as circumcision.

Basically he was implying that millions of heartless parents (like us) choose to mutilate their sons’ genitalia for absolutely no reason. Thus causing decreased “sensitivity” and ruining their sex lives forever.

Oh shit.

What if this was true. What if we’ve succumbed to this medical tradition like every other chambray-shirt-wearing southerner who didn’t do their research before…snip.

Luckily for us, this brilliant man has invented The Tugger – Improving the World. One Penis at a Time.

A tapeless restoration unit that stretches the existing skin and eventually recreates the… ahem….foreskin.

Well THANK GOD.

I appreciate this man’s assiduousness to the cause, I really do.

But as he walks the city streets wearing his sandwich board with the big penis on it, does he ever think…

I look like a dick.

Let’s fight for cleaner energy! Ending hunger! World Peace! Foreskin!

Nope, that one doesn’t make my list.

After all, do we really want our men hornier than they already are?

Um, no.

In all seriousness, I hate to think I’ve contributed to any shortcomings (no pun intended) that my son might experience. But I’m sure his future wife will understand.

She might even thank me.

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11 thoughts on “The Tugger

  1. Tara Taylor says:

    I… LOVE… YOU!!!!

  2. Jaclyn Rush-Hancock says:

    You crack me up! Keep them coming and thanks for the smile and fabulous view points. I couldn’t agree more:-)

  3. Heather Dolhi says:

    “Do we really need our men Horner than they already are??” That’s a resounding no. This post cracked me up.
    And in right there with you on the show line up you r referenced. Oh and hoarders… I can loose a whole day watching that show. In part because it makes feel like a rock star house keeper. 😉

    • dailybee2 says:

      OMG – I love hoarders too. I watch it for the same reason. Because it makes me feel awesome. And clean. Terrible to feel that way at someone else’s expense!!!

  4. Karen Pryor says:

    Please don’t spell ga-ross for GROSS when refuring to sexual deviants. Remember the name of your uncle, and what state he live in 😉 ! Aunt K

  5. Your post does nothing, but show your ignorance on the subject of circumcision and heartless approach to another persons right to keep what they were born with. If you really feel that way then why don’t you get your clitoris trimmed? After all we don’t need you any hornier than you already are either.

    • Thank you for your comment. You are absolutely right, I am ignorant on this subject! These posts are all meant in good fun, but I do sincerely apologize for offending you.

      • Thank You for your reply and I accept your apology. I suppose I wasn’t the nicest in my post and I sincerely apologize for that too. I was circed against my will at 15 and am pretty passionate about boys being just as perfect as girls when born with no modification needed. May I ask that you research the subject? Because once you know better you do better. Here is my story in case you or anyone who reads this is curious as to what it is like for someone who remembers. http://oregonintactivist.com/circumcision-stories/oregon-intactivist

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