Todd and I have been teaching Colt to give us kisses. It goes something like this.
“Give mommy a kiss,” I say in my smiley syrupy kiddy voice. He stares at me. Blank.
“Give mommy a kiss,” I say again, sort of…grabbing… his head…and smooshing… his lips… against… my cheek.
“Todd, Colt just kissed me! He kissed me! He’s so smart Todd, he totally just kissed me!”
Occasionally, Colt will give me a kiss on his own. When I least expect it, he’ll stick out his sweet little baby lips and touch them to my cheek, ever so lightly. And he makes this precious little humming sound.
My heart swells. I live for it.
Two weekends ago, my friend Jennie came over so we could take the kids to Dinosaur World. Our sons are the same age, so we are forcing them to be best friends. But despite our efforts, they usually just ignore each other. Each one bumbling around in his own babysphere of selfishness. This time was different.
It hadn’t been five minutes since their arrival. Colt looked up from his Elmo phone and focused in on Zach. Walking toward him. Intention in every wobbly step.
He planted a big wet one on Zach’s face.
“Awww, look, Colt is giving Zach kisses!” Jennie squealed in delight. I beamed with pride. Equally proud of himself, Colt leaned in for another…
And another…And now his eyes are closed. Oh God Zach can’t escape. Colt had his hands on Zach’s shoulders. And he was making the precious little humming sound.
Suddenly, I envisioned getting called into the Principal’s office at Colt’s future preschool. “Your child won’t stop kissing the other children, Mrs. Bedford. And we just cannot have that here at Sacred Heart of Our Lady Christ the King Academy for Gifted Children.”
No, we cannot.
How do I teach him that many kisses are fine for mommy and daddy, even for Gracie the dog.
But one kiss will do for your friends. Until you’re like three, and then even one is kind of weird.
After that, you can’t really kiss anyone again until you’re in high school, and in a monogamous relationship, preferably with a girl…. or…a boy.
What really matters Colt, is that she… or he… loves you, and respects you, and comes from a good family. And plans to go to college.
And if that doesn’t work out, well, Mommy will love you anyway.
No matter who you’re kissing.